Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Anger Management

 
I must confess that I have a problem in becoming angry and belligerent to people. Innocent people that have nothing to do with why I am angry. And there never is just one reason for the anger. It's an accumulation of irritations and obligations, etc. I have behaved badly at stores in front of customers and especially to the cashiers. I have yelled, cursed, and threatened many customer service reps on the phone whether it be the phone company, the electric company, for myself or for my mother. I take things out on anyone near me. Last Friday, I had a problem with my virus protection program on my computer through my cable service provider and did the chat thing with a customer service rep. Yes, I typed plenty of inappropriate things to let him know the depth of my annoyance.

Don't worry, karma did bite me in the ass today at work. A patient treated me in the same exact way that I treat other people when I'm pissed. No, it did not feel good and I did get angry at them. So, after it was over, I kept thinking all the rest of the evening how I could have handled the situation better. What would have helped me calm down? I have no real answer. When your in that mood, there is nothing to do. You are just going to take things out on anyone no matter how nice they are. It's sad to say, but I do feel completely justified in my behavior at those times.

So, I am going to find the answer somehow to keep my anger in check and not take it out on innocent people. They are just doing their job and do not deserve it. Life is hard and it is a bitch! And someone should pay. lol. But, not the innocent people. I do need help and I really don't know what to do about it. I'm already taking a double dose of medicine. Counseling is joke and just makes me angrier. It even makes me angry that I have to take medicine at all to deal with all this.

What helps you to calm down and keep things in perspective?

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