When I get like this it's best to just shut up. It's hard for me to shut up though. I'm mad and someone should know it. That's what I think. Anyway, this is going to be the first time I have written my feelings in this crazed madness that I'm feeling. So If I go off the deep end this will be a clue into the deep dark madness of a psychotic episode At least that is how I'm feeling.
I'm trying to get my mind off of my feelings. I took a nap. That did not help. The meds have not kicked in yet. I can't cook supper because I'm afraid of the stress of spinning around in circles (remember, I have no kitchen). I can't deal with stress people. I just can't! I try to solve problems and think of alternatives. But, the daily grind of stress and people in my personal life sometimes is too much. I used to go to work to relieve myself of the stress of family. Now there is so much stress at work that I hate my job. I thought I was getting better at handling…
This is my weekend off. I have enjoyed it; but, feel that nothing much was accomplished. I had my 2 oldest granddaughters (ages 3 & 4) spend the night with me on Friday. They beg to spend the night every time they see me. They love me for some reason.
I quickly found out that having them 1 at a time is much better. Not only for me but for them also. That way they have my undivided attention and they have their own special time with me. Not only is this easier on Grandma; but, them too. As they fought, argued, and the 3 year old was jealous. So, 1 at a time it is!
Nothing much went on Saturday. I went to the local consignment shop because they were having a winter sale. But, didn't see much to get. I bought a cute tote and a bag of rubber stamps for myself. The 4 year old got a beautiful but cheap party dress that she will use for dress up (every day mind you), and a pair of sneakers. When I dropped her off home afterwards, she thanked me so much for them. lol. She is my sweetie …
I am lucky to have a husband who will help out with the cooking and housework. He will make me breakfast (it may be the afternoon, but who cares). He will go outside in the freezing early snowy morning and shovel me a path and start the truck and get it cleaned up. Although, he doesn't when the car is working (hmmm). When talking to a co-worker, I realize that I am lucky. I feel lucky for other reasons also. But; I do have to put up with a couple of things that other women will not put up with. We can't have everything, I guess. But, I feel like the important things in life are right.
Today, after my husband got the truck ready for me for work this morning, he put the ingredients together in the crockpot for a chili. (Which he was supposed to do yesterday, oh well). He also made his signature desert: Hershey's Perfectly Chocolate Chocolate Cake. The chili was ready when I got home from work. I did clean up and do dishes, though. We can't have everything.
I have been thinking about my so-called New Years' Resolutions for this coming year. I decided I am just going to continue with my journey of whole natural foods and eating healthier. I am going to go for walks. Also, I'm just going to enjoy life and feel grateful for what I have.
I ran across this yesterday on Facebook. I think it says it all on what we should all just concentrate on to make life better.
(sorry the picture was lost in the blog move. i don't know where it is. when i find it, i'll put in back on.)