Not Your Average Granny

If any of you have been following this blog, you know that it has gone through many transformations, and myself as well. What I have come to realize is that life is a continuous process of change and recreating things. So, I'm okay with it now. Also, I have changed my mind about going part-time in my employment. I really, really, need the money. I know I won't be happy with less. So, I have decided to change my attitude and my views on things. And it has helped. Just as I changed my views on my husband many many years ago. It has helped tremendously. I think that I am really struggling with and at odds with myself. I thought I had accepted myself, but I was still holding back and afraid to show my true self. I know that is hard to believe. But, I have censored myself quite a bit. Oh no, you say. Oh well, I say. I really do think profoundly about things and do not dare say them to people for fear that you will think I'm crazier than you already do. I have decided that ...

I just participated in an amazing healing session. The first amazing thing was that My question was the first one they answered. My name went out to the Universe! I was shocked!! My question was something like this: I have always felt like there was something I should be doing with my life that I haven't been doing. I have felt blocked all my life. How do I find out what it is that I'm supposed to be doing? Answer: Simplify:  Ask myself what makes my heart sing? What brings me joy? Follow my bliss. That is my purpose. It doesn't have to be a big thing. A grand thing. It can be a simple thing. What matters in my life? If I find that I will be in alignment with joy. So what does that really mean? My job does not make me happy. I feel stuck. Also, I found out that most creative people find a 9 to 5 job too restrictive. I find this to be true in my case. I feel stuck. Like I'm locked up and can't be myself. I don't think I'm creative though. But, I...

So, since I last posted, many moons ago, I have been going through a lot. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. Many realizations have come to me. I began a new medication to help me deal with things. Guess what, it works so darn well, I am not afraid to be myself, say what I think, or do what I want. This is good in some ways and bad in others. But, I am going to live life my way. If you don't like it, take a hike. Life is too short to be stuck and held back and afraid to speak and do anything. I want freedom. I need freedom. I want to be happy and do what I was supposed to on this earth. I have many lessons to still learn and I am determined to learn them. But, it will be learned, in freedom, the way I want. I want to get back to living the way the creator of the universe meant for us to live. I want to live simply, and naturally, and aware of nature, life cycles, energy, I want to have time for my family. I don't want to be exhausted slaving for a job that doesn't c...

For some time now I have been thinking and rethinking the direction of this blog (and my life's direction). I have vacillated back and forth between concentrating on one thing or keeping it as it is. The fact is, I am many things. Many, many things. Like the song, Nothing in Between, by Meredith Brooks: I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one, I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed, I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between. So, that's the consensus, this blog will stay the same. I knit, crochet, sew, read, make my own products, and ramble on. But, in my rambles, there is also some insight. It might take me some time to see any insight. But, that's how I roll. Like it or not. I do not conform for anyone. Not even for the chance of money or popularity. I am my own person. The direction of my life will go the way I want it to. All my bad posts wil...

This is my weekend off . I have enjoyed it; but, feel that nothing much was accomplished. I had my 2 oldest granddaughters (ages 3 & 4) spend the night with me on Friday. They beg to spend the night every time they see me. They love me for some reason. I quickly found out that having them 1 at a time is much better. Not only for me but for them also. That way they have my undivided attention and they have their own special time with me. Not only is this easier on Grandma; but, them too. As they fought, argued, and the 3 year old was jealous. So, 1 at a time it is! Nothing much went on Saturday. I went to the local consignment shop because they were having a winter sale. But, didn't see much to get. I bought a cute tote and a bag of rubber stamps for myself. The 4 year old got a beautiful but cheap party dress that she will use for dress up (every day mind you), and a pair of sneakers. When I dropped her off home afterwards, she thanked me so much for them. lol. She is my sweet...

I am lucky to have a husband who will help out with the cooking and housework. He will make me breakfast (it may be the afternoon, but who cares). He will go outside in the freezing early snowy morning and shovel me a path and start the truck and get it cleaned up. Although, he doesn't when the car is working (hmmm). When talking to a co-worker, I realize that I am lucky. I feel lucky for other reasons also. But; I do have to put up with a couple of things that other women will not put up with. We can't have everything, I guess. But, I feel like the important things in life are right. Today, after my husband got the truck ready for me for work this morning, he put the ingredients together in the crockpot for a chili. (Which he was supposed to do yesterday, oh well). He also made his signature desert: Hershey's Perfectly Chocolate Chocolate Cake. The chili was ready when I got home from work. I did clean up and do dishes, though. We can't have everything. Now the day was...

I got up around 7 am to put the ham in the crockpot. It barely fit. I set it on low and put water in it and let it cook for 10 hours. Didn't put any spices or anything in it. Turned out delicious. Then I went back to bed and slept till 2 p.m. I know I have the life, right. But, the girls and the grand kids weren't going to be there until around 5 they said (turned out to be 6 pm). Then I got up and set about making homemade cranberry sauce for the first time. All you need is one 12 oz bag of cranberries; 1 cup of water; and 1 cup of sugar. The recipe is right on the bag. Very easy and I will be making it again. I just loved the look of the cranberries cooking and the sound of them popping. I thought it was cool. After I had that cooling, I peeled potatoes and got them cooking along with the carrots and yams . Last I put in the rolls . Trish got here just when I was putting the browned rolls in the basket. Everything was delish. I took my time with nobody bothering me and I ...

 Image courtesy of [Salvatore Vuono] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net I found my soul mate early in life. Thank God! And 30 years later, we are still going strong. We might fight hard but we also love hard. We are like these fish, always chasing each other never letting the other get away. And yes, we are both Pisces. I feel very blessed.

source This week has been a busy and exhausting week. My mother was hospitalized on Monday in a town over 30 miles away because of a blood clot. Thank God I got her to the hospital when I did. Another day and the outcome might have been different. This was a wake up call saying that I have to keep better track of my mother and her health. So between going back and forth from the hospital, trying to get her apartment cleaned up and my house cleaned up, I am so very tired. Plus, it seems as though I had my grand kids over nearly everyday also. On Friday, I went to my granddaughters pre-school and helped her carve pumpkins. Also, we had lunch together. It was fun and she enjoyed me being there with her. I am just amazed at all my grandchildren and all their different personalities. They are the bomb!!

This is the post I have been meaning to write for awhile now but when I sat down to write, I realized I needed to go back and write about the other stuff. So, here it is. I guess it will be short and sweet. I should have just wrote it then because I'm over it now. Me and my sisters have had the step mother from hell and the step father from looney town. I would have went into this back when it was bubbling forth from me but now it's gone. Step father has left this world and the wicked witch has been history for awhile now. I'm thankful for my current step-mom, Grace. She has accepted us kids right from the start and we were teens when she married my dad. Right from the start, she referred to us girls as her daughters. It was never, "this is my 'step' daughter" and I really appreciate that. When I had my daughter in the first year her and my dad were married she referred to Trish as her granddaughter. She has always bragged about her grandkids and made sure...

I was 9 and my sisters were 6 and 7 maybe when our parents split up. I didn't have much to do with my father but my sisters went to visit him every weekend. When the divorce was being finalized there was so much contention between my parents trying to undermine each other and trying to prove each others unfitness as parents. The powers that be took us each into a room and asked us one after the other where we wanted to live. Me and my youngest sister went with my mother. My other sister choose my father. And so the separateness began and our own ideas about the other that was not based on truth. My mother was upset that my sister choose my father. We were upset thinking she choose the money over her mother. Of course, I'm sure that idea was planted in our heads by mom. Over the years, me and Jen, went back and forth from living with mom and dad. Her more than me. Us sisters could only get along so long before the death fights would begin. Me and Jen had our own ideas of Nae...

My mom and dad split up when I was 9 years old. The marriage was pure hell for them and me. Yes, me! I had to hear my mom crying late at night because my father was out after work doing god knows what. (Well, we know cheating was going on). When he was around it was pure hell. I walked on eggshells and was sick to my stomach most of the time. My father acted like he just hated my mom. I didn't feel like he liked me much either. I was the only reason that they even got married. There was so much fighting, crying, and my mother had breakdowns, and I had to hear my father force my mother into sex acts. It was all quite sickening. So when he did leave for good, it was a relief! Although, I was pissed at them both. Why the hell did they even get married? It was the end of the 60s and my father grew up with strict religious parents who instilled in him that if you knock a girl up; you marry her. So, that's what he did. And that was so NOT the right thing to do. Although, if he...

This cat of mine insists on possessing me and everything I own, including my bed!!!

My seventh grandchild arrived Wednesday, May 2, 2012. He shares a birthday with his Uncle Gary. Jeremie Michael Taylor II 8 lbs 12 oz. with his 2nd cousin Maddie

Happy Birthday to my son, Michael, who is 23 today. To celebrate I made his brother make a cake for him because I was holding and playing with the grandkids. We had pizza, cake, and ice cream. And soda, which 1 year old, Aubree, couldn't get enough of.

Today marks the 5th year of World Autism Day. The CDC announced yesterday that 1 out of 88 children have it. I know that there are several children in my town who have it. Plus, my wonderful nephew, Oliver, has it. I love you, Oliver, and hope to visit you again soon. For more information on Autism, please visit: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/facts.html  or  http://www.facebook.com/AutismAid

My other daughter's birthday is today. My 2 oldest kids are 2 years and 4 days apart. She is 24 years old. She also amazes me. She gave me nothing but grief when she was a kid and we didn't get along at all. Now, we have plenty to talk and laugh about and have a lot of the same interests. Although, everything I wear is still hideous to her. She is also a great mother who has lots of patients for her brood. I love you Nathalie!! On another note, Nat's 3 year old daughter broke her foot on Monday. She hasn't been able to walk and horse around since then. She had a cast put on today and has to wear it for 3 weeks. She can walk now but will not do so yet. She has been a trooper about it.

As I was reading my posts in FB this morning, I ran across a link about dads and I was thankful that I have the husband that I have. The link was to a blog post, titled, Calling all Dads, from the blog, Dad Revolution . The post was about how the government census classifies dads and how society still thinks of dads as babysitters. I am thankful that my husband has changed plenty of diapers for all four of our kids. He has made bottles, gave them baths, walked the floors with them. He cooks, does dishes, and picks the house up. He will do laundry also. He does have many faults, but, all in all, I choose to put up with them in order to experience all the goodness that I do get. Also, now that the kids are adults, they have a great relationship with their dad still. Now we have 6 grandchildren and they all love him dearly. He gives them plenty of attention, kisses and hugs, and shares his coffee with them. Also, when I watch the kids for my daughters, I can count on him to help me t...

Today is my oldest child's birthday. She is 26 years old. Not a little girl anymore. Although, she will always by a little girl to me. She has a lovely disposition and it amazes me how she turned out that way having the parents that she has. We are anything but lovely. lol. I am looking forward to watching her grow even more into the woman she will become. I love you, Patricia Marie O'Donnell, with all my heart!!