Update on New Year, New Me

If any of you have been following this blog, you know that it has gone through many transformations, and myself as well. What I have come to realize is that life is a continuous process of change and recreating things. So, I'm okay with it now.

Also, I have changed my mind about going part-time in my employment. I really, really, need the money. I know I won't be happy with less. So, I have decided to change my attitude and my views on things. And it has helped. Just as I changed my views on my husband many many years ago. It has helped tremendously.

I think that I am really struggling with and at odds with myself. I thought I had accepted myself, but I was still holding back and afraid to show my true self. I know that is hard to believe. But, I have censored myself quite a bit. Oh no, you say. Oh well, I say. I really do think profoundly about things and do not dare say them to people for fear that you will think I'm crazier than you already do.

I have decided that even though I am no writer by any means, I need to go back and make blogging my main focus and start telling you all about these profound things.

I'm still going to be making my products and selling them because I like to create them. It's fun.

So this year it's dealing with stress. Which is mainly in my head. Acceptance. Being a better person to myself. Not hiding myself. And that WILL trickle down to being a better person to you all. A better wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, and sister. But, I still need my space. And this will all take time. Things don't happen overnight.

I know this is a challenge. But, I have just learned that I am so tired and angry at myself. I need to stop resisting so much.

I hope you all stay with me. I will still be posting DIY products, recipes, etc. Has anyone else gone through this also? Feel free to tell if you dare.

Comments

Divorce

My mom and dad split up when I was 9 years old. The marriage was pure hell for them and me. Yes, me! I had to hear my mom crying late at night because my father was out after work doing god knows what. (Well, we know cheating was going on). When he was around it was pure hell. I walked on eggshells and was sick to my stomach most of the time. My father acted like he just hated my mom. I didn't feel like he liked me much either. I was the only reason that they even got married. There was so much fighting, crying, and my mother had breakdowns, and I had to hear my father force my mother into sex acts. It was all quite sickening. So when he did leave for good, it was a relief! Although, I was pissed at them both. Why the hell did they even get married? It was the end of the 60s and my father grew up with strict religious parents who instilled in him that if you knock a girl up; you marry her. So, that's what he did. And that was so NOT the right thing to do. Although, if he

My Little Girls Birthday!

Today is my oldest child's birthday. She is 26 years old. Not a little girl anymore. Although, she will always by a little girl to me. She has a lovely disposition and it amazes me how she turned out that way having the parents that she has. We are anything but lovely. lol. I am looking forward to watching her grow even more into the woman she will become. I love you, Patricia Marie O'Donnell, with all my heart!!

Frazzled

This is what I felt like after work today. It's what I feel like and look like when people are all at me at the same time demanding things from me relentlessly without any regards to me and my plans. If you are asking me to help you out and take you somewhere, then by god, it will be on MY terms and when I can fit you in! Not the other way around. And please don't spring things on me last minute. This is why I seem like a bitch and blow up in your face. I can only take so much. And yes; 2 of my family members have been told repeatedly. So, I really don't feel bad about my behavior.

Not Your Average Granny

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