Skip to main content

Conflicting Feelings

By
My fingers are itching to type and my mind is in overdrive again. It's scary to pour your heart out. But, I did get a good response on my last post. The response was on Facebook. I really really wish people would comment on the blog post itself also :)

Well, maybe I should explain why I am so upset with religion??

Religion specifically Christianity;

We are taught:


  • To be separate from the world; to not mix and mingle with the world; if you do you will be influenced by them for the bad
  • To just listen to God's laws and if you don't you are a problem
  • That we are not to believe in rituals and spiritualism  
  • To listen to God and not ourselves; we just can't be trusted
  • To look down on people who are not us or who think and act differently (yes, I hear your protests that this is not so)
  • That we are sinners who can never measure up 

Why is this bothering me so?

  • It has caused me nothing but anxiety attacks and low self-esteem
  • It has inhibited me from further progressing; my mind has never expanded
  • I have never been able to come to terms with myself and change my behaviors despite a lifetime of conditioning
  • I have never felt me; always feeling like an impostor
  • Despite desperate prayers to God and trying oh so hard to think of him as a father, I have never been able to have a relationship with him; believe me I have tried over and over.
  • I have just gotten angrier and angrier and more and more rebellious. I just want to be me without being judged. 
What has worked more me:

  • Opening my mind to energy healing
  • Reiki - a form of energy healing. (This has opened my mind up and helped with thinking in terms of energy and think more profoundly with Jesus and what he actually was. Not what we have been taught. I have also had some insights over the years about Jesus that was shocking - yes, they came from my own brain at various times while reading the Bible).
  •  Quieting my mind
  • Accepting myself as I am with all my flaws; coming to terms with why I act the way I do. It has been disturbing and painful at times to learn. 
  • Questioning ideas and old stories that have been taught to me and my ancestors throughout the centuries.
  • Trusting that I do have power. My thoughts are powerful and attract what I think about. Good or bad. 
  • Accepting that there are non physical beings who are here guiding us if we would only listen. The Abraham Teachings has helped me trust the Universe more fully and put my mind at ease.
  • Meditating
  • Chakra healing.
  • Mantras
  • Rituals
This is the only thing that has ever quieted my mind and helped to such a great degree. And if you think about it; it's what we have been taught to stay away from. So, Why? Why have we been taught that what really works we must stay away from? The answer is simple to me. 

This is been my experience. I am sure yours has been different or the same. Please accept that we all have different experiences and deal with things differently. 

Feel free to express your thoughts. 

photo Signature_zps85e4d33d.jpg
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Divorce

By
My mom and dad split up when I was 9 years old. The marriage was pure hell for them and me. Yes, me! I had to hear my mom crying late at night because my father was out after work doing god knows what. (Well, we know cheating was going on). When he was around it was pure hell. I walked on eggshells and was sick to my stomach most of the time. My father acted like he just hated my mom. I didn't feel like he liked me much either. I was the only reason that they even got married. There was so much fighting, crying, and my mother had breakdowns, and I had to hear my father force my mother into sex acts. It was all quite sickening. So when he did leave for good, it was a relief! Although, I was pissed at them both. Why the hell did they even get married? It was the end of the 60s and my father grew up with strict religious parents who instilled in him that if you knock a girl up; you marry her. So, that's what he did. And that was so NOT the right thing to do. Although, if he
4 comments
Read more

Grandparenthood - What They Don't Tell You

By
Being a grandparent is great. I love it! But there is another side. A side that is never talked about. I am not the only one who feels this way. I ask other grandparents and they agree. When I had my 4 children, I NEVER worried so damn much about them as I do my grandchildren. I don't know why that is. Or at least I didn't until yesterday. I have a theory anyway. Will talk about that in a moment. First, I want to tell you that it's my 2 daughters that are giving me these grand kids. My oldest granddaughter is 2 1/2 years old AND I have 4 granddaughters. YES, I REPEAT I HAVE 4 GRANDDAUGHTERS 2 YEARS OLD AND YOUNGER!!! Now what is the problem with this? Well, since it's my daughters, I am worried and scared to pieces for them the whole 9 months and have to listen to them complain about everything that is wrong with them. I try to tell them things are normal, blah, blah, blah. But in my mind, I'm thinking maybe something is seriously wrong and it's my fault for t
3 comments
Read more

My First Wallet

By
I signed up for a craft exchange hosted by Craftaholics Anonymous . This is my 3rd summer participating. I choose this small organizing wallet to make for my partner.  This is the first wallet I have made and I think it turned out well. I follow a blog called Sew Can She . They have many cool craft tutorials featuring different tutorials from other blogs. So, the pattern actually came from LBG Studio . Next time, I will know what I'm doing and will make a few changes.  Front view. Open view Back view Inside Left. Inside Right. The right pocket is just big enough to put a small memo pad in. Also the left side holds cards or whatever you would like. I think it's a really neat thing to have in your purse. One always needs paper for something and extra room for do-dads. Also, kids would love this. I'm going to make some more for the granddaughters.
5 comments
Read more